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WRONG.

im tiredd 2 blog abt 2day. maths remedial killed me. n deres training tmr. im alrdy dead tiredd. hope i still can keep myself awake 2 finish up everything. tmrs gonna b a day of mixed feelings. everythings gonna come and go. can i keep up? i think dats all 4 2day. im rly rly drained.

im not what i think i could have been; i failed pathetically. somethings terribly wrong, and i dont know what. i guess i shouldnt pressurise too much. it really pains me to see him like that, and yet i cant do anything. maybe i just need to give him time. maybe...maybe i should let go, and stop forcing everything together. never mind, i shall erase all these negative thoughts. i must believe that he still loves me, even if he doesnt. i suppose. but i shouldnt force things i like on people. thats why ive been such a bastard. ive been too selfish; to want to keep things by my side, even if they didnt belong. so i guess, i should let him go, if he wants to. sometimes, a belief isnt that good. now im wondering if i had sabotaged him by loving him, and as a result he screwed things up. i think im more of a burden. im not fit for the care and concern from him. im not fit for anything. but i insisted on some things, which made the situation worse. im really sorry, i shouldnt have been so stubborn. im really sorry, i shouldnt have been so arrogant. im really sorry, i shouldnt have been so sensitive. im really sorry, i shouldnt have been so troublesome. i know havent done enough for him. i tried to present my best, but maybe my best isnt enough. images of us holding hands, sleeping together and hugging each other keep reappearing in my mind. but am i really fit to accept it from him? i suppose not. of course i wish that it will never end, but i cant force these kind of things. so if i really dont deserve to be by his side, i will stay behind him. and support him. if its time to let go, i will. i cant control everything. its his basic right of freedom.

P.S: i lost my tie pin today! guess its bye bye to emo days.